Tuesday, August 30, 2011

IM:On my own

Holy Shit. I feel shell shocked. I can't quite explain how lost and insignificant i feel. How stupid. 

It was simple. I was on my own. I was told to pick a random patient. I was told to see them and write a note in the chart recommending my plan for patient care. I was told to get to as many as i could before rounds at 10. I had four hours. 

I couldn't even get one finished!  There were an insurmountable pile of co morbidities- so many people who have 5 and 6 and 10 and 15 serious illnesses. And one illness prevents you from treating the other and the other etc.  Its maddening and it takes hours to even understand the full scope. Then I am still at a loss.  

I went home today and feel like i'm choking on information I will never integrate. I am overwhelmed. I question whether I'm smart enough for this profession and wonder how in the hell anyone else is. Its an impossible job. One that the residents are expected to do in under 30 minutes. I could read a million pages and still not 

No comments:

Post a Comment